In pursuit of that which is not at hand, each of us lives every day looking for something greater than ourselves. Some look beyond the stars to find secrets of the universe, some look for it in the most infinitesimal particle that compose all that is tangible and ‘real’. Where do I seek my big secret? My great truth, my enlightenment – it is a perpetually elusive idea, so wanton that I can not even begin to place a finger on what it is. How do I attribute a means to finding what I know not, I am looking for?

It is something within I try to fathom most of the time. But restlessness of my heart permits me not, to delve in deeper than a few superficial glances, enough to cause a momentary ripple. I quickly let myself get caught up in the pace of the world revolving around me and soon I get lost in my mundane work. What started as an escape has fast morphed into a habit. All things that were dear to me are now grey shadows that sit in an attic in my soul, gathering dust, rust and cobwebs. The memories still haunt me so that they manifest as remorseful sighs that do not dare escape the premise of my being. I exist now, akin to a haunted mansion, which once boasted of grandeur so spectacular but now sits dark and dreary.

Once in a while, there is a flicker of light here and there, a spark from something I see or hear or a story that moves me and lets me wash out the debris down my cheeks. The glass panes clear up and I catch a glimpse of something inside. The coal is still red under all the ashes. If only I can let the wind in and fan the embers; who knows, I might just be able to rekindle the fire and let some warmth into the cold crevices of my heart before it all turns to stone.